Vaseline + Wind Turbine = Rectal Reality Check (Ontario)

Aug 25, 2013


Editor’s note:  This is an honest-to-God true story.

Melodie Burkett is an Ontarian who has had it up to “here” with the wind turbine salesmen’s lies and fraud and bullying and abuse.  I mean, she’s HAD IT!  She’s also ballsy.  (Except that, in a woman it’s said, “She’s got ovaries!”)


In any case, Melodie was attending the annual “Ontario Mayor’s Conference” in Ottawa this past week, since her husband, Michael, is Mayor of Whatever.  (Doesn’t matter for purposes of this story.)  Cruising the grand ballroom with its many booths, Melodie spotted a wind company booth bristling with small toy wind turbines—as propaganda devices (“party favors”) for attendees.

Melodie promptly took the escalator down to ground level, exited the hotel and found the nearest drugstore.  She had the clerk ring up a jar of Vaseline.  (Melodie betrays her age, here.  These days, people use K-Y Jelly for intimate purposes.)

In any case, she marched back in, rode the escalator while clutching her little jar of symbolic outrage, strode over to the booth, uncapped her Vaseline and plunked it down on the table.  “You guys keep this jar open on this table,” she loudly exclaimed.  “Anyone who wants one of your toy wind turbines will want to dip it in this jar and proceed to the washroom and—shove it!  ‘Cause that’s what’s really going on!”


  1. Comment by Brad Blake, Cape Elizabeth, ME on 08/25/2013 at 7:06 pm

    Ha! Ha! Governor LePage of Maine (who hates the wind industry) would love this story. He got into political hot water with a remark about a certain state senator who was screwing the people of Maine on tax increases “without using Vaseline”! I loved it, because the governor was right.

    Unfortunately, the Maine legislature is controlled by Democratic ideologues who refuse to even listen to criticisms of the state’s heinous wind law.

    Closed minded bastards!

  2. Comment by Donna Quixote on 08/27/2013 at 11:59 am

    Love it! Way to go Melodie! This is what we need! More in-your-face people who aren’t going to just sit back and take the crap that the wind wolves and governments are pushing on us anymore.

    Way too much complacency going on. We need an all-out revolution of some sort. Maybe Melodie has fired the first shot over the bow!

  3. Comment by jack sullivan on 08/30/2013 at 7:53 am

    My experience with wind companies proves they exemplify the old North Country saying, “They would lie even if telling the truth would serve them better.”

    Jack Sullivan
    Town Councilor
    Malone, NY

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